I don’t know anything about physics but I recently read the NYT bestselling non fiction self help adjacent book called, Atomic Habits by James Clear. I initially found the title off-putting because it was giving hack your way to productivity and I have read enough and actually tried enough to know that you can’t hack your way into a creative practice or discipline. The tipping point for me was when one of my meditation teachers recommended it; she seemed like an unexpected fan of this book and certainly isn’t someone who is willing to sacrifice herself on the altar of hustle culture. To my surprise it was a great read— completely accessible and filled with practical knowledge on how to create a good habit: make it obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying. And how to break a bad habit: make it invisible, unattractive, difficult, and unsatisfying. It all seems pretty straightforward but I want to highlight a particular chapter that resonated with me. It identifies the pattern of being in motion, but not in action, and looks at what might cause a person to do that.
Clear opens with a powerful example featuring a group of photography students who were divided into two groups: one group was given the instruction to turn in a singular A+ photo for the whole semester and the other group was told they’d get an A+ based solely on quantity. The group that was operating under the guidelines of increased quantity did significantly better because they were consistently out in the field practicing their skills every day. They took more photos and so they got better at taking photos. Whereas the group that simply theorized about what might make a good photograph ended up practicing a lot less and therefore the work suffered. This was something of an A-HA moment for me as I believe that this very phenomenon of being in motion rather than being in action is what is holding me back. Here are some examples.
I love learning, I love taking classes, I love reading about things I’m interested in that should allegedly make me better at what I’m trying to get good at— in my case writing and filmmaking. Grad school is always beckoning. The amount of time I’ve spent trying to uncover and understand the source of my writer’s block is comical. Where would I be if I just spent that time writing? Even if it isn’t good, or the best writing I’m capable of, the act of writing still counts as practice in making me a better writer.
Clear expands on the why behind this common behavior, “But more often than not, we do it because motion allows us to feel like we’re making progress without running the risk of failure” (142).
And there you have it folks, the reason I am perpetually in a writing class (I am in one now) or reading a book about developing a creative practice (currently reading Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg ). These actions that live in the same universe as being a writer make me feel like I’m getting closer to achieving my goal without having to actually do it and take the risk of people thinking I am not good or that I am cringe (more on that next week).
This newsletter is a practice of being in action. Although I aspire to write longer form pieces, the practice of showing up to write the newsletter results in a tangible product. Almost a year into doing it, it’s only 5% less scary to hit publish. My fears that no one will like it are the main reason behind its haphazard publishing schedule and the reason that I have never promoted it. If people read it then that means I am liable for negative feedback, which is a part of being the kind of artist I want to be. A part that I have protected myself from until recently and I’m just getting my toes wet into what it feels like to complete and share work.
Clear continues “Motion makes you feel like you are getting things done. But really, you’re just preparing to get something done. When preparation becomes a form of procrastination, you need to change something” (143).
This line feels like a direct attack. I tell myself “but at least I am doing something related to writing if I am too fill in the blank to actually do the writing.” But then life becomes a miserable time keeping exercise where anything can be considered as related to your BIG DREAMS and if it’s not, then it becomes a waste of time. For example, watching a film or TV show that isn’t in line with something I would ever want to make. For a long time I considered that to be a waste of time because I should ALWAYS BE LEARNING and therefore I should watch something similar to what I want to make and that constitutes a productive use of my time. What a joyless way to live! And how insidious is this capitalism? It’s sort of like the expansive definition of a business expense for tax purposes, sometimes it helps you get closer to the goal of greater deduction but you still have to pay taxes.
All of this being said, I do love taking class and I see the value in it, I love doing warm up exercises to set the tone and I really do believe that physical movement and scent and the airflow of the room can all affect my output. In Steven King’s memoir On Writing he talks about his writing practice before he had “made it”, when he would write at the laundromat while waiting for his clothes and the sound of the washing machine rattling off balance was his soundtrack. Basically he’s saying don’t wait for the perfect opportunity when the muse strikes, just keep showing up even when you don’t want to. Clear argues that those are the times that it’s more important to show up. To use the gym in an analogy, even if you don’t have the best workout, the fact that you made it and honored the commitment and kept practicing is more important than the quality of the workout itself.
Later in the book he mentions that the greatest people in their fields are the ones who can tolerate boredom, the ones who can show up to do the same drills everyday even though it doesn’t excite them, but because they know consistent practice is going to make them the best at what they do.
So here’s to more action and less motion. And now, it only seems fitting to share some of my favorite ways to productively procrastinate. :)
I just started using the project management software Notion which is free for personal use, *~very aesthetic~* as the kids say and it really does a great job of keeping my various work streams organized. Big fan. You can waste a lot of time formatting and picking colors and emojis. And watching tutorials on how to use it, because there is a learning curve.
The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
The Writing Life by Annie Dillard
How to Write An Autobiographical Novel by Alexander Chee
The One Thing by Gary Keller
The Longform podcast is great for inspiration, listening to writers talk about their process. Here’s one featuring Leslie Jamison that I particularly like.
See you next week, I’ll be sharing my thoughts on the importance of being cringe and why this is a revelation to me.
xx
Lula