Remember that question? It was sort of a catch all for discussing any type of uncomfortable feelings when we were children, at least in my friend group it was. Likely born of a limited understanding around the many other emotions and feelings that can accompany “mad”. It was an attempt at understanding the reason behind someone’s behavior when it seemed unkind. For me the ability to utilize that question became a kind of coping mechanism to deal with pre-adolescent drama. Even if the person said no, I’m not mad, but continued to act strangely it felt like a sigh of relief. Acknowledging the mad in the room allowed me to exhale. I could only relax once I was certain nobody was mad at me. There has to be a link here to the hyper confessional tendencies that goes along with this neurotic attachment to the idea of someone being mad at you but we’ll save that for another day.
Ah, yes. I do this... and then a person resurfaces and they never mention a thing about being mad at me. They were just busy. For myself, I consider it self-centered fear. When I catch myself doing it, I cancel the thought.
Ah, yes. I do this... and then a person resurfaces and they never mention a thing about being mad at me. They were just busy. For myself, I consider it self-centered fear. When I catch myself doing it, I cancel the thought.